Sunday, June 17, 2012

~ The First Man ....

... I ever loved.
My Dad.
 Dad was one of 7 children.
He was a quiet man.
He rarely showed his emotions.
But the love was there and the love was felt.
My brother and I were the two youngest (of six) 
and Dad seemed to have mellowed a bit
by the time we came along
and he enjoyed watching us play
(and at times joining in)
This photo was taken in June 1974.
My parents were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary.
My Dad was crying in this shot.......
he was overwhelmed that we were all there
celebrating with them
a few days earlier he was diagnosed
with mouth and throat cancer.
This shot was taken before the cancer got worse
and Dad had to have his jaw removed
and have a tube placed in his throat.
He rarely complained.
He died in 1978.
He had been feeling worse and worse every day
and so the doctor insisted he be admitted into the hospital.
He usually resisted but this time he didn't.
The night before being admitted
my Mother said he went into their bedroom and closed the door.
When he came out he told my Mother
that when he was gone
she should open their lock box
and that he had put something in there.
He died a few days later.
On the night that he died,
my Mother retrieved two handwritten letters from the box.
The first was addressed to my Mother.
It read:
"Dear Rita,  In case I don't come back I want you to know that I love you all very much.
If God wants me I am ready.
Don't forget me in your prayers and tell the kids too.
I have been in pain for a long time and I never told anyone.
I love you.
I hope the kids take care of you when you are old and sick.
God will bless them.
Please forgive me for all the trouble I ever gave you.
Once again, I say I love you all very much.
So Long,  Dick"
The next letter was addressed to "My Children".
It read:
"Something tells me I am not coming back.
If I did something to hurt any of you I hope you will forgive me.
I try to be a good father and a good husband. 
If I did something wrong, please forgive me.
I love you all.
Take care of your mother.
God will take care of you.
So long, not Goodbye.
PS  I love you all!"
What I wouldn't do to have just one more day with him.
"It doesn't matter who my father was;
it matters who I remember he was."  ~ Anne Sexton
Happy Father's Day!


  1. Amen!
    My dad died 4 years ago, quietly & quickly. Not having to endure the pain of your dad - but he did endure the pain of losing my mom 2years earlier.
    We were told it was a massive heart attack. My sister's & I choose to believe it was broken heart.

  2. so sweet and touching...beautiful tribute to your Dad.

  3. This is such a beautiful tribute to your father...very, very touching. Thank you so much for sharing and for visiting with me and for your kind words:-)

  4. D...I am completely and utterly speechless. I think this is such a moving tribute to who you are and who your dad was. This must have taken you a long time to's beautiful and to share such an insight with us is an honor. Many xoxo to you my friend.

  5. Thank you for sharing this....I am so completely and utterly moved by both your words...AND your dads.

  6. Your post has me all chocked up.. What a wonderful tribute to your father..


  7. Oh my gosh...your Dad was an amazing man. After my Dad passed in 2001 I searched everywhere hoping for a letter from him as that was our special way of communicating and I never found one because it didn't exist. I'm going to make sure I do what I do if God allows me the foresight to plan ahead and make sure each of my kids and my husband have a special "love note" from me.

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute.

  8. Diane, this is a very heartfelt and powerful post. I am speechless. I think your Dad would be proud. Thank You for stopping by my blog, I appreciate your comment.

  9. What a wonderful and handsome man you dad was. Love that letter. You must miss him so much Diane.

  10. Wow - What a beautiful sentiment to your Dad - It sounds like he was an amazing man!


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