4 months
123 days
17 weeks
2,952 hours
177,120 minutes
10,627,200 seconds
since Tom died.
I still visit your blogs.
I just haven't had the energy to post lately.
I am struggling to get back control of my life.
I am still consumed with grief.
Every.Single.Day.
Some days are worse than the next.
I just never know when the grief will be mild
or when it will explode from within me.
I am a walking grief bomb.
I am a whirlwind of emotions.
Sometimes I regret having moved from our home of 30 years.
I'm still not feeling his presence here with me in the condo.
I hear that "time will heal" ....
I just don't know when that time will come.
For now I will grieve.
Every.Single.Day.
I left you a little note in Sept.How good of you to post so we can understand and know how you are.Time..for every loss and every person..it is different.
ReplyDeleteI read a little quote that said..you are unique..and so is everyone else..
That photo of you two says it all.
Life just isn't fair it seems is it?
There I said it.
I know you are close to your family..Thank God..
Hope they bring you some comfort.
Take care..take care..
I think of you often and have started and stopped mid-stream sending you an e-mail to see how you are doing, or simply to let you know I was thinking of you. Time and grief is personal and only you can determine when. It is one step at a time to be sure. In the mean time, know that you are in my thoughts and constant prayers.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing you are doing for yourself is exactly what you are doing, and that is visiting letting those visits inspire your days that encourage walking into life.
ReplyDeleteIt's so important for you to show your husband you are living for him (Tom)
Baby steps dear one, yet take that leap of faith and post where your friends support you, it's a place where expressing yourself can most often comfort.
Praying that comfort cradles you in your journey.
Thank you beautiful hearted for truly taking the time to visit me, your words left joyed my heart.
I hope your days are filled with passion, and living creatively finding comfort one day at a time.
Xox
Blessings
Dore
I don't know you personally other then your blog but I do know that Grief comes in many forms and many ways. Yes, time "heals" or rather it lessens the pain of loss but I think it replaces that loss with beautiful memories too. I've never lost a spouse but a parent and even though it's been nearly 17 years I still miss my dad very much. What I have found though are those precious times when seeing a certain sunset or a person fly fishing (my dad loved fishing of all kinds) or a funny story that he told etc...it makes him feel like he's still right there with me. I hope in time your grief lessens and you find joy in life again as I know your husband would not want you to be this sad. Sending hugs and as always praying for peace and comfort for you.
ReplyDeletei am very sorry for your loss and all the pain you have been dealt. thank you for stopping by my blog today. i hope blogging can brighten your days a bit.
ReplyDeleteEven in your grief you write so beautifully and eloquently. My experiences with loss have taught me that time does help ease the pain but it will never go away. The tears will continue to fall and yes, when you least expect it. Tom will always be with you wherever you are. You hold him in your heart. I hope you look back at happy memories spent and that they give you comfort when you most need it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by my blog and taking the time to leave a comment. You said you missed going out and exploring. I hope you will and in that exploring I hope you find something in you that makes you smile again. Take care.
My heart breaks for you, Diane.
ReplyDeletePlease know that you are often in my thoughts.
I am glad that you posted. xo.
Diane Dear, you are a wonderful, wonderful person, and I am glad that I have found you in blogland a while back. You have a family here, and I am sending you a great BIG hug with much Aloha to help you get through. Keep on posting, and know that you are not alone. And Tom, is now part of all of us, thanks to your love story here for him. Breathe deep, Friend. Tune into the positive energy that the Universe has been storing in your honor. We are right by your side.
ReplyDeleteWhat Hula la said is beautiful D. Only you know what's good for you. Know that peoples words are well intended even though sometimes it's not what we want to hear. Just know, You DO have an on-line family that cares very deeply for you. I'm ALWAYS here sis. xo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Diane. I just went back and read a bunch of your previous posts. I do believe down to my core that your Tom will be with you wherever you are, forever. Hugs, Amy
ReplyDelete