~ Snowflakes ....

.... he sent me snowflakes.

An infinite amount of snowflakes.

All for my viewing pleasure.

Because I told him that when we moved up to New Hampshire

I wanted at least one huge snow storm

so that I could just sit back and enjoy watching it snow.

And so I did.  Watch it snow.

We got one heck of a storm ... 16 inches of this stuff was delivered to us.

That's good considering they originally predicted we'd get over 2 feet.

The wind was blowing so hard at times

that the snowflakes looked like they were twirling around

like little ballerinas. 

The snowflakes even tried to come inside via the balcony....

Lucky for me I have storm windows over the screens.

As much as I find snow to be an annoyance,

I do have to say that it looks lovely.

 

Oh, yes......just lovely.

Unless you don't have access to a garage and have to park outside.

Not me.

I park in a heated garage, thank you very much.

 

I think I'll go out tomorrow and explore the neighborhood.

 

 

Tom,

Remember

when I'd go out and use the snow blower after a storm.

You'd be so nervous, afraid that I would get hurt so

you  "secretly" watched me from the bedroom window.

You didn't think I noticed.

I did.

Then you'd come to the front door and give me the "thumbs up"

for doing such a good job.

I love you for that.

For watching out for me.

Thanks for the snowflakes today.

All my love.

 



~ Remember ....

.... Forever

 

I thought long and hard about whether or not to even choose a word for 2015.

After all, my word for 2014 was "Challenge"

and indeed I was presented with one of the biggest challenges I could ever expect.

After giving it some thought

I decided that my word for 2015

would be "Remember".

 

To solidify the fact that I had chosen that word

I headed over to Litva's Jewelry

and purchased a couple of her beautiful rings.

 

When the box arrived I was hesitant to open it.

I'm not quite sure why but I was actually afraid to open it.

Maybe because it would be a solid reminder that Tom is dead

and this would almost be.....in my mind.....equivalent to wearing his
tombstone on my finger.

I walked around the box.

I gently pushed it.  I picked it up.

I opened it.

 

I cried.....and cried.....and cried.

 

 

Remember...

to grieve....for as long as it takes.

This is a journey I wasn't ready for.

Every day is a challenge.

I grieve deeply....painfully.

 

 Remember...

to celebrate....his life.  Our life.

I was lucky enough to have him for 44 years.

He is etched in my heart....my soul.

That will never be taken from me.

 

Remember...

to cry. 

Softly....loudly...,

I cry myself to sleep EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.

Sometimes softly.  Sometimes loudly.

 

Remember...

to smile.

I am beginning to be able to smile when I think about Tom.

When I say his name.

When I look at his picture.

 

Remember...

to take deep breaths.

 

Remember...

to exhale.

 

Remember...

his love.  His sweet, sweet love.

I will never again be loved the way that he loved me

nor will I ever again love someone  the way that I loved him.

Tom and I were a "once in a lifetime". 

And I'm perfectly okay with that.

 

I will ...

 

Remember

 

Tom

 

Forever