~ Remember ....

.... Forever

 

I thought long and hard about whether or not to even choose a word for 2015.

After all, my word for 2014 was "Challenge"

and indeed I was presented with one of the biggest challenges I could ever expect.

After giving it some thought

I decided that my word for 2015

would be "Remember".

 

To solidify the fact that I had chosen that word

I headed over to Litva's Jewelry

and purchased a couple of her beautiful rings.

 

When the box arrived I was hesitant to open it.

I'm not quite sure why but I was actually afraid to open it.

Maybe because it would be a solid reminder that Tom is dead

and this would almost be.....in my mind.....equivalent to wearing his
tombstone on my finger.

I walked around the box.

I gently pushed it.  I picked it up.

I opened it.

 

I cried.....and cried.....and cried.

 

 

Remember...

to grieve....for as long as it takes.

This is a journey I wasn't ready for.

Every day is a challenge.

I grieve deeply....painfully.

 

 Remember...

to celebrate....his life.  Our life.

I was lucky enough to have him for 44 years.

He is etched in my heart....my soul.

That will never be taken from me.

 

Remember...

to cry. 

Softly....loudly...,

I cry myself to sleep EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.

Sometimes softly.  Sometimes loudly.

 

Remember...

to smile.

I am beginning to be able to smile when I think about Tom.

When I say his name.

When I look at his picture.

 

Remember...

to take deep breaths.

 

Remember...

to exhale.

 

Remember...

his love.  His sweet, sweet love.

I will never again be loved the way that he loved me

nor will I ever again love someone  the way that I loved him.

Tom and I were a "once in a lifetime". 

And I'm perfectly okay with that.

 

I will ...

 

Remember

 

Tom

 

Forever