Friday, October 4, 2013

~ A Question....A Comment....

.... injured a friendship.
I am still in disbelief.
I have been crying off and on since yesterday.
I have read and re-read the email at least a dozen times.
I am confused.  I am hurt.
Shouldn't we be able to say pretty much anything to a true friend?
Not a hurtful thing .... but an opinion?
A thought?
A "this is how I felt" comment?
I said these things to open the door for more conversation about what happened.
NOT to close it.
She said I closed it.   I didn't.
My door is still open.
"Where do they go,
the people who sail into our lives
like green leaves
and disappear like snow." ~ Rod McKuen
1.'s been a tough couple of days.
I lost a good friend....a best friend. 
It doesn't matter who was right ... or who was wrong.
The door has been closed to that friendship
over something that happened six months ago!!!!
Over a comment about how I felt at that time.
Over being honest.
I have been crying all day. 
I have that "ugly cry" look.  
It is not flattering.
2.  I'd call my friend  ex-friend
but I'll only cry and won't be able to say a single word coherently.
3.  I wonder if she knows how hurt I am?
I wonder if she is as hurt as I am?
How can a friendship that I thought was so deep just dissolve
over .... what???  Seriously, what???
I want to roll up my sleeves and talk it out.
She has opted to "go our separate ways". 
4.  Is this friendship even fixable? 
"If the other person in the friendship is worth it,
then the broken friendship can be fixed,
no matter what." ~ Anonymous
Is that true?
I just don't know.
What I do know is that I am Hurting.Like.Hell right now.
I go from sad to angry to sad to angry......
5.  She blames me for "closing the door" on the friendship but to me
she slammed it shut.

It's sad when people you know
become people you knew.

Crying my eyes out over at Nancy's



  1. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's always hard when conflict comes up in friendships, especially when we're not sure how it all came about. Hang in there. Maybe a bit of time going by will set things in perspective.

  2. Oh hugs this is a tough one understanding it and fixing it. I agree with Tina hang in there maybe more time is needed for both of you to realize you friendship is more valuable than a difference of opinion. Take care. B

  3. How sad that you are going through this, Aug. Friends, in my book, can say, express their opinions, views...friends don't judge...friends do not expect perfection...friends KNOW where you're coming from!...:)JP

  4. so, so sorry but it has happened to me. Thanks for stopping by my blog today:):) Ireally hope the friendship can be saved:)

  5. I'm sorry :( I pray that the relationship can be restored.

  6. I'm so sorry you are going through this Diane -- it would seem to me that this friendship may be been a bit one-sided on your part if she was so easily offended by your opinion. Just my opinion. Hugs.

  7. Sorry to hear this, Diane, your words are so touching ...
    Big hugs,

  8. I she is worth it . . . grab the phone and call . . . OR . . . open the door and go to her and talk. Can't hurt, it MIGHT help.

  9. So sorry you are going through this...I have no words of all.

  10. I really hope the door is not locked, maybe time will open it again.

  11. I do like your photo and your processing, if that helps at all. I have had this happen too, although thankfully, not recently.

  12. This too shall pass. This has happened to me, and I felt angry, bitter, and foolish for allowing myself to get drawn in, only to be stomped on. And, though it took some time, I realize now that I am a better person for having to handle such a tremendous amount of guilt, anguish, shame and pain. It has led me to a higher plane that I discovered by going deep within myself to heal. Take a deep breath, My Friend, and you will see, that time heals all wounds. And you have many, many other friends here who value your opinions. Lessons learned. Aloha

  13. I am so sorry to read this. I had a bit of an out with a friend a few years ago. We are still friends on FB, but it isn the same. She was the MOH at my wedding...oh well...Hugs...Thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hi.

  14. If the friendship is 'repairable' then it WILL happen!! Trust me. I've known people who, for years, seem to be at odds with each other, and then, decades later reacquaint and it's then time to catch up. Sad. Hope you feel better this morning. Sometimes a good cry is healing.

  15. Your two quotes are just so perfect.
    I love Rod McKuen.
    I understand them..and your post..very well.
    It can happen... and more than a lifetime.
    That's why I know my one and only true best friend is my husband..and my daughters.I have a few friends..but true friends..through thick and in the movies..?( Beaches comes to mind..)
    There are many possible endings.. to this story ..don't despair..
    Some mend.. and even better:) Could be your story:)
    I just feel sad that you are hurting right now.. because I remember the feeling smarts.
    Smack in the heart.
    Cause that's what it is ..unfortunately..a broken heart.
    Take care.. and follow your instinct..follow your heart on what to do..after reflection..

  16. A TRUE friend would not be so quick at closing the door. They might get hurt or offended, but it would not be the end. I have closed the door before, but it was only after the "friend" had repeatedly used and abused me. Stop kicking yourself, and take some time to reevaluate your friendship. If it is a toxic one, then for the sake of your own well-being, you are better without it.....speaking from experience. Take heart. It will get better....:)

  17. Sweet sister-I'm sorry. Maybe some time needs to pass-to collect your thoughts. I would certainly try again so you may have a clear consience and then if that doesn't work you mourn the loss and hold on the what was good. Love ya and I'm here for you. Xo

  18. ‘Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on out hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Flavia Weedn

  19. Oh dear. Hugs to you in this loss. Perhaps this shut door will open again. Perhaps the frame is strong enough to withstand being slammed once. Perhaps there was much more behind the force of the slam, things that have nothing to do with you; you just caught the force of it.

    You are in my thoughts...

  20. I am so sorry that your friendship has ended...time well spent, now lost, it's tough. I had a "friend" that just stopped calling...never did figure out why and we would spend every Friday together out photographing, I e-mailed her twice, never a reply. It's hard to give up on a friendship, I have no words of wisdom. I really hope that both of our friendships are renewed once again.

  21. I am so very sorry to hear this ~ But I have to say ~ I recently ended a lifetime friendship with someone, as well ~ I was feeling extremely guilty at first, but there has been much hurt between us over the years ~ True friends should have been able to talk these things out, we were not able to ~ So therefore, she was never a real friend and I am fine with my decision. Time will pass and you will become happier again. This I know ... Stay Strong ... Brighter Days Ahead Xo Kristine

  22. So sorry to hear this , hope you can find some peace x

  23. Hello Diane,
    Just know that friendships should never be painful, as for you being hurt and going to her regarding an issue I often find the guilty, I.e your ( friend) being that one is looking to get out of the mess by shifting the blame to you, which in-turn is making you feel that much more hurt and making you now feel guilty that you even brought the initial issue up in the first place.

    Diane, please don't cry, I know this pain even through divorce there's this friendship pain without sounding cold or heartless when things get to this point in life there's a much bigger picture and parting ways can open doors to reasoning taking time apart to analyze if this truly is a friendship worth it all. I dissolved a friendship, very close one, telling each other the deepest most guarded secrets to almost feel free from the hidden feeling of I was the friend that a friend could offer something that this friend could not get from anyone else. With that being said this is not a friendship when someone takes and does not truly give.....true friendships are give and take.....if you feel you are right, then let it be, you may have more heart in this matter and who needs a heartless friend if this is the case. Give her time to think, a friend will mend things and realize that she hurt you, if not then you have your answer.

    After the tears you will see much clearer, dry your eyes and go do something new, you deserve it.

    Thank you Diane, for taking the time to visit me and more your comment means that much more to me knowing what you are going through.
    Anytime you want come and visit ME! .... Your new friend ! :)

    Blessings for your heart, for all things will pass.

    Hugs from your new friend.

  24. Ps. Go style à new post something that inspires you to be this new brave girl. Go create something that makes you smile and lifts your creative spirit....remember change is good...celebrate your heartfelt spirit.
    Do something pretty around the house and post it, turn those tears from sad to joy!

    Always empower yourself with something brave, strong, and beautiful.
    ( Celebrate your wisdom )


  25. It does hurt and is beyond understanding . . . being in the position of not being able to talkk it through or get answers to the many questions can be so frustating! My thoughts are with you .. for me, writing helps a bit - gets the thoughts out of one's head at least for a moment!


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