Tuesday, January 20, 2015

~ Remember ....

.... Forever
 
I thought long and hard about whether or not to even choose a word for 2015.
After all, my word for 2014 was "Challenge"
and indeed I was presented with one of the biggest challenges I could ever expect.
After giving it some thought
I decided that my word for 2015
would be "Remember".
 
To solidify the fact that I had chosen that word
I headed over to Litva's Jewelry
and purchased a couple of her beautiful rings.
 
When the box arrived I was hesitant to open it.
I'm not quite sure why but I was actually afraid to open it.
Maybe because it would be a solid reminder that Tom is dead
and this would almost be.....in my mind.....equivalent to wearing his
tombstone on my finger.
I walked around the box.
I gently pushed it.  I picked it up.
I opened it.
 
I cried.....and cried.....and cried.
 

 
Remember...
to grieve....for as long as it takes.
This is a journey I wasn't ready for.
Every day is a challenge.
I grieve deeply....painfully.
 
 Remember...
to celebrate....his life.  Our life.
I was lucky enough to have him for 44 years.
He is etched in my heart....my soul.
That will never be taken from me.
 
Remember...
to cry. 
Softly....loudly...,
I cry myself to sleep EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.
Sometimes softly.  Sometimes loudly.
 
Remember...
to smile.
I am beginning to be able to smile when I think about Tom.
When I say his name.
When I look at his picture.
 
Remember...
to take deep breaths.
 
Remember...
to exhale.
 
Remember...
his love.  His sweet, sweet love.
I will never again be loved the way that he loved me
nor will I ever again love someone  the way that I loved him.
Tom and I were a "once in a lifetime". 
And I'm perfectly okay with that.
 
I will ...
 
Remember
 
Tom
 
Forever
 
 

21 comments:

  1. I've been waiting for this post Sis-I know it had to be in your own time. It's beautifully written and from the depths of your heart and soul. I LOVE that 2nd shot and sure sandra would live to see it. The rings are beautiful and I bet they are equally beautiful on your finger. You are so brave xoxo

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  2. Very well written Aunt Diane.. Love I..~Sue~

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  3. So beautiful, I was moved to tears. Thank you for the honor of making these special pieces for you ❤❤❤

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  4. What a sweet sweet post.
    Your tokens of rememberance are perfect I find.
    I too was moved to tears.
    I think of you so often.
    God Bless You .Take care ...

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  5. The depth of this, your words, the rings and not just how beautifully they look or the words inscribed on them, but what they symbolize is beautiful. Grief, Life, Love - all are a journey. Bless you and I sincerely hope these help to bring you peace on this journey.

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  6. Diane take all the time you need. I am happy to see you shooting again. Use that as therapy, it has helped me.

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  7. I read your beautiful words with tears in my eyes. May each day of remembering give you more and more peace.

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  8. Diane, so wonderful to see that you "opened the box" to find treasures adding to his love!....:)JP

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  9. grieving is slow...and I don't believe it is a process...I believe it just is...

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  10. It's a process. But I'm so glad to learn you are beginning to smile when you remember. Baby steps my friend.

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  11. They are beautiful and you are doing well I think. HUGS HUGS B

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  12. they're wonderful. may they help you heal, even a little bit. :)

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  13. I read this with tears in my eyes, may peace be with you. They are beautiful

    Hugs Saun

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  14. What a beautiful tribute to your Tom. Your post made me both sad and happy. Sad for your loss, but happy for your strength!

    Jeanine

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  15. Wow! Your words are so beautiful. Tom was a loved man!!

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  16. A billion hugs to you.

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  17. Hi Diane,
    I got goose bumps as I read your word and your post ... And tears are rolling here as well ... A courageous decision for a word, yet so healing and natural choice, coming from your heart ... Your braveness and strength - and the love that carries you through the pain and loss - many warm hugs to your way!

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  18. Hi Diane,
    I got goose bumps as I read your word and your post ... And tears are rolling here as well ... A courageous decision for a word, yet so healing and natural choice, coming from your heart ... Your braveness and strength - and the love that carries you through the pain and loss - many warm hugs to your way!

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  19. What a wonderful word you've chosen and such a special way to remember your husband. I believe "healing" is happening in your life and it's good to note that you are smiling again. God loves you and knows the deepest thoughts of your soul.

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  20. Beautiful Remember and Forever rings and words, thoughts you shared.

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