~ Dear ....

In my long absence I have still been following your blogs.

I really missed joining in.

I wanted to jump in on "Friday's Letters" .... but .... I can't seem to find that blog now.

So, I will just present you with my letters .....

 

Dear Bloggers .....

Thank you for re-visiting my blog and welcoming me back.

And thank you for letting me unlock my feelings and expressing your support.

I've missed the camaraderie.

Letting my thoughts flow once again felt good.

I appreciated some new faces visiting.

And I really appreciated some familiar faces coming back.

Thank you!

 

Dear Hummingbirds ....

  Why don't you visit?

What am I doing wrong?

I clean the feeder every few days and add new nectar.

I have the feeder in a partly sunny/shady area.

There are plenty of branches around for you to rest on.

Please come around.

 

Dear Sunflowers ....

It was tough going for awhile.

I put you out in the sunshine as seeds.

To my horror the squirrels were digging you up.

But you persisted.

And you are starting to grow.

I can't wait for you to bud and bloom.

 

Dear Life ....

 

Please present us with a bowl of cherries.

We need the break.

Life is so short as it is.  

Learning to accept what can't be changed is the first step.

My husband's health issues cannot be changed.

So I need to accept that and just deal with it.

It will help coming back into the blog world.

So, I am back.

I will no longer sit back and watch life go by.

I'm jumping in.

For my own sanity.

For my husband's sanity and peace of mind.

The last thing I need or want is for him to be worrying about me.

 

Yours truly,

♥

 

 

 



~ Blessings of the Day ...

 

 

 

 

I have been in a funk for the longest time.

I really lost interest in a lot of things.

I stopped picking up my camera.

I stopped taking my daily walks.

I stopped listening to music.

I'm not one to wear my heart on my sleeve.

So this post is difficult for me.

But I'm hoping that by "letting it out",

I'll find the strength to "shrug and send it on its way".

 

I really think that I

1.  have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

I used to think "what a strange thing" but .... seems like in the late Fall

I start to get "down in the dumps".   I'm not sure if it's the early darkness

or the thought of snow storms getting me all knotted up.

But I think I may have SAD and that .... well .... makes me sad.

2.  have Caregiver Depression.

I always thought that when you love someone ...

no matter what happens to them ...

you take care of them. 

No complaints.  No doubts.  You just do.

I do believe that still.

But experiencing it is more difficult than I expected.

 

My husband is chronically ill.

He has congestive heart failure, an enlarged heart, atrial fibrillation, vascular disease,

liver issues, failing kidneys, mild diabetes, spinal stenosis, herniated disc,

neuropathic leg pain, extremely low blood pressure, gout .....

let's see .... what have I missed?

He is on his 4th ICD (Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator/Pacemaker).

Don't get me wrong.....he is not on his death bed.

But every day is a struggle.

I watch this 62 year old young man attempt to walk across the room

and can't .... so he has to stop midway and sit down to catch his breath.

This is a man who always ... always ... had a spring in his step.

I follow him up the stairs as he takes one step at a time and grabs the

handrail to literally pull himself up.

I see the pain in his eyes everyday.

Medically, I cannot help him.  

Medically, the doctors have admitted that they really have done

everything possible....there are no new meds out there.....no new procedures.

It is what it is.

Yet, he is 99% of the time in a decent mood.

I'm not.

Occasionally he'll express his disappointment in how this has changed things.

All of our "retirement" dreams .... pretty much down the drain.

But he wakes up cheerful.

Sometimes I'll watch him while he's at his computer ... or watching tv ...

and it just breaks my heart ... to pieces ...

In my heart's mind he is still that 19 year old

who swept me off my feet ...

who took my breath away ...

who gave me butterflies when he kissed me.

 

I think I'm taking all of this harder than he is.

Sometimes I get tired.

Sometimes.....I admit.....I get angry.

At him.

At myself.

At the situation.

But mostly at myself.

 

And he remains cheerful.

He tells me every morning, when he opens his eyes

and sees that he is still here,

he says it is a blessing.

 

I need to learn a lesson from this man.

 

 

"For every day that I may live

I'll keep a smile upon my face

because you put it there for me.

And should misfortune come along

I'll shrug and send it on its way

and count the blessings of the day, my love."

~ Rod McKuen

 

♥



~ Time . . .

. .. flies.

Time ... is on my side.

Time ... is of the essence.

Time ... is money.

Time.  Time.  Time.

 

Do you ever wish you could save time ...

... in a bottle?

Freeze time?

Do you ever wish you could go back in time?

Time seemed like forever when I was a kid. 

A month felt like a year!

The older I get, the faster time seems to go by.

A month feels like a day!

I feel like I don't have enough time.

Not enough time to do everything that I still need/want to do.

Sometimes I waste time ...

Sometimes I wish I could borrow time ...

They say that time heals all wounds.

I used to wear a watch every single day, especially when I was working

 ... I felt naked without one.

I haven't worn one in 3 years.

No need to watch the time ... keep track of time ... be on time ... leave on time.

Time.

 

"There is only one you for all time.  Fearlessly be yourself." ~ Anthony Rapp

 

♥

 

 



~ "Catch a falling star . . .

. . . and put it in your pocket.

Never let it fade away."

Last Saturday we had a "play date"

with our very good friends.

We met up in Mystic, CT and planned our day.

We had lunch at Mystic Pizza (yup, same as the movie).

We took a scenic drive through Essex and Haddam

and stopped by Gillette's Castle.

Back to Mystic and had a nice dinner at Kitchen Little.

It was a wonderful day with wonderful friends

and it went by way too fast!

We didn't want it to end.

We said our goodbyes around 9:00 pm

and headed back home.

Along a stretch of road on Rt 2 it's very, very dark.

Tom and I had been going over our day and how much we enjoyed it.

And then .... it happened!

Simultaneously spotted!

(not my photo)

 

He said: "Was that a......"

I said:  "....shooting star!!!!!"

He said:  "Do you think it was fireworks?"

I said:  "No, definitely a shooting star!"

I was giddy!

My heart was racing!

I couldn't keep my eyes off of the sky in case it happened again!

This was only the second shooting star I've seen in my 60 years!

It's been said that if you see a shooting star with someone else that you

should both make a wish and that it would come true.

I quickly said "Make a wish."

I closed my eyes and made my wish.

My wish was that some new medication would come about that would take

all of my husband's health problems away.

A wasted wish?   Not in my heart.

I looked over at Tom and was so happy that

we saw this shooting star together.

It was a magical ending to a wonderful day!

 

♥

 



~ Hello, my name is Diane .....

... and I'm a Craftaholic!

Yes, that's right.  I'm a craftaholic.

I don't know how it started.

I only know that I can't stop.

I have a closet full of craft paraphernalia.

Did I say "full"?  LOL  That's an understatement.

I should have said that I have a closet stuffed with the aforementioned.

Stuffed and shoved into every available (and unavailable) space.

So stuffed and shoved that I have lost track of what I have!

I have large plastic bins full of jewelry findings, beads, tools, etc.

I have large plastic bins full of yarn.  Every kind of yarn in every color imaginable.

So, why is it that when I find a pattern that I think I'm going to knit,

I don't go into this large bin and use what I have in my stash?

Why is it that I must go out and purchase the perfect skein of yarn for the project?

After all, I'll have a 40% off coupon.

Lord knows I can't waste a good 40% off coupon, right?

I have a bin full of micropens, sharpie pens, colored pencils

and special paper to do Zentangle!!!

Have I done Zentangle?  NO!

Will I ever? 

I recently bought a Sizzix Big Shot die cut machine.

So, of course I had to go out and buy every die that called my name.

Then I had to buy felt squares to die cut to make brooches.

Oh!  and then I had to buy tags to make for the holidays.

And then I had to buy stamps.

I have a bin full of stamps.  Rubber stamps.  Clear cling stamps.

Stamp pads in various colors.

Blue, red, green, black, orange, purple, white.....

I'm getting dizzy just thinking about all this stuff!!!!!

I need help.

I can't control this urge to run into a craft store....

coupons in hand....

running up and down the aisles.....

breathing heavily......

and I can't leave....no, I won't leave....

without a purchase!!!!!

Somebody stop me!!!!!



~ 10 Sounds . . .

. . . that drive me bonkers.

Over at Northwest Mommy they're playing "Monday Listicles"

and I've decided to join in.

Her list for this week is "10 Sounds That Drive Me Bonkers".

So, here's my list of 10 sounds that drive me bonkers:

(In no particular order)

1.  Barking dogs ... especially yippers ... one neighbor seems to put their little yipper out at 6:00 a.m. to do it's thing and then forgets about it ... and it barks.  And yips.  And barks.  And yips.  

2.  It's 2:00 a.m. ... you're awakened by the LOUD sound of a motorcycle going by.  Very.Loud.  Why? It's twofreakino'clock!  In.The.Morning!

3.  The sound of someone spitting irks the heck out of me.  Not to mention the "yuck" factor!

4.  Slurping.  Pullllleeeaase don't slurp in front of me.  I may have to hurt you.  Someone very close to me slurps when he eats soup.  I've mentioned it.  Many times.  Still slurps.

5.  The sound of someone dragging their feet when they walk.  Pick.Up.Your.Feet.  

6.  Air sucking through teeth.  That sound makes me want to scream. 

7.  The sound of firecrackers going off.  4th of July or not.  Don't like that sound.  It's annoying not to mention illegal here. 

8.  The sound of a snow blower.  Freakin' irks me as much as the sound of ...

9.  ... the town snowplow trucks. 

10.  The sound of someone farting ... in the kitchen ... at the table.  Okay, call me crazy but this really troubles me.  It's a rule in my house.  No farting in the kitchen. At the table.  Someone let one slip the other day.  I looked over at him.  He was ignoring me but had guilt all over his face.  I gave him the stink eye (no pun intended).  He continued to ignore me.  I was fuming (no pun intended again).  It makes me crazy!  Irrationally crazy!  Just don't fart in my kitchen...at the table...and I won't put up a stink.  ;-)

~Scavenger Hunt . . .

I haven't participated in the Scavenger Hunt in .... well .... forever!!!!! 

Shame on me! 

So, here I am .... playing along .....

Behold my interpretations .....

PATRIOTIC

Stars and stripes forever!!!!!

VIEW FROM ABOVE

Don't want to fall on top of this!!!!! 

MOSAIC

The bottom of the pool .....
well, it's kind of mosaic, right????


SOMETHING TINY

Tiny pine cone.
My neighbor's 2 1/2 year old loves to find these!


VIBRANT

Well, the colors are pretty vibrant.......
this is the best I could come up with ..... LOL!!!!

So, there you have it .... my finds for the Scavenger Hunt.
Don't forget to stop by Ashley Sisk's to meet Felicity.
She's absolutely beautiful!!!!

♥