Saturday, October 15, 2016

~ Roots .....

Root (noun)
1. the part of a plant that attaches it to the ground
2.  the basic cause, source or origin of something
Root (verb)
1.  to establish deeply & firmly
For the last two years I've felt uprooted.
No sense of belonging anywhere or to anyone.
With Tom's death came upheaval.
My whole world was uprooted.
My life changed forever.
Tom was my safety.
So his death has caused me to feel homeless in a sense.
Some of you know that I moved back to New Hampshire. 
Back to the city where I was born and raised.
I was hoping to immediately be able to just plant myself here.
It's not happening.
I do not feel established deeply and firmly.

I still feel homeless without Tom.

Every day is a struggle (still).
But like this bulb I am pushing my way through the struggles
with the help of family and friends.
Some days are better than others.
Other days are better than some.
But there's not one single day that I don't think about him.
Or talk to him.
Or wish he were here to plant our roots down together.
I thought long and hard about blogging again.
I think it will help me.
Similar to this growing bulb.......
reaching out and up......
I need to find myself again and grow.
So, I'm back.
My camera keeps me focused (no pun intended).
In fact, when I pick up my camera I can almost hear Tom
cheering me on.

I'm also finally getting my craft room in order
so I'll be back to crafting
and hopefully be having some giveaways.

Yes, it's been a long, hard and lonely two years.
And I'm sure it will continue to be.
And I will never get over the loss of Tom.
But he would want me to get my feet planted firmly on the ground,
reach out and grow.
And I don't want to disappoint him.
Tom, I love you.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. You are a brace soldier and I'm so very proud of you and thrilled to have you back. Xo

  3. Sending you so much love and strength. Welcome back.

  4. Oh are not have us here in blogland right by your side! The blog looks beautiful! And I see new growth popping up from those roots. Deep breaths, Girl. This is a brave new start. Aloha!

  5. i am hoping you can find something meaningful to make it feel like where you belong. i have found myself alone here in texas and wonder if i should return to my wisconsin roots to be near family. it has been 32 years since i lived there, and i'm hanging on to see if there is something 'other' meant for me, still. i don't know your loss, but i know your feeling of being lost...

  6. You always have us, dear Diane, and I a VERY happy that you have come back here.

  7. Good to have you back. Prayers for your continued strength!

  8. Stopping for my first visit to your blog. I found you by stopping at Nina's Thoughts and Images Along the Way. So sorry to read of your loss. Really like the way your blog looks with the leaves for BG. Have a great week ahead. I am a crafter, photographer enthusiast also so will stop back by to see you again on here. :)

    Peabea...visiting from Peabea Scribbles

  9. Hi have no idea how many times I have thought of you.
    I would be just like you.
    I am happy you posted..I think blogging helps with many things..
    I enetered another email addy as I did not get this I subscribed again because I don't want to miss one..of your lovely photos and thoughts.
    Looking forward to all of them.

  10. Hi have no idea how many times I have thought of you.
    I would be just like you.
    I am happy you posted..I think blogging helps with many things..
    I enetered another email addy as I did not get this I subscribed again because I don't want to miss one..of your lovely photos and thoughts.
    Looking forward to all of them.

  11. Your blog is a tribute to the man you loved - and love still. Wishing you strength and peace.

  12. This is a beautiful post. I'm glad you are feeling like blogging again...a bit of a venture into the world. Perhaps you are looking for the roots you used to feel when you will need to shoot forth new roots now. I lived in Exeter, NH for a quarter of a century but have moved back near my home town in MA. I never felt real roots in NH though that is where I raised my family.

  13. I love it when people speak their truth.
    The feelings one has when a life partner is suddenly gone are familiar to me.
    I said "suddenly" because that was what happened in my life.
    Not only was I in shock, sorrow . . .
    I also felt so alone, isolated, sad, displaced, confused . . .
    This post is so meaningful, the bulb and roots analogy
    visually spoke to me . . . and my path . . .
    Keep sharing your truth . . .

  14. Hello Diane, I'm so happy to have found your blog again. I didn't remember that you had lost your beloved husband, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what life would be like without mine. But I do know what life is like without other loved ones who were part of my life and I still miss them every day. I was reading a previous post about the cardinal and just wanted to share with you that I had a similar experience one day when a cardinal landed on my outside window sill and sat there for a long time looking in the window. I felt then that it was a sign because it was a time when I was feeling a bit sad.
    Your photos are beautiful and I hope you continue to share them with us here in your blog. Take care. xo Cheryl

  15. Oh Diane, I feel your heart in this post, and my heart aches for you, but also feels hopeful for you. May God comfort you in His love, and help you to find hope and joy day by day, as you walk through this difficult loss and reach for what life holds ahead for you. I have known my hubby since 6th grade, and we have been married for 37 years. I cannot imagine my life without him. Blessings and hugs, sweetie.

  16. Hi Diane, I'm admiring your stamina and your heart, that is beating love, love, love ... Your images of new life, springing from the roots without soil, speaks in such a strong way to me.
    Picking up your camera and setting up your craft space - something beautiful and unique is rising - authentic, from the unrooted and lonely road, you've travelled, missing your beloved husband. Yet, like you write, he's surely cheering you on...
    Hugs from the other side of the ocean,

  17. Hugs Diane, thank you for for sharing your photos and feelings in your post and for visiting and leaving a comment today.

  18. You are doing well and I admire your strength even if you do not think you have it we out here can feel it. Glad you are back and your camera and writing will help in your healing. Tom knows. Love these photos. HUGS B

  19. I have checked back here every so often all these is good to see you blogging again. I can almost bawl reading husband had a stoke on Aug 2....he survived. I cannot go into it in to much detail...but know that I know how you feel. He gets around good physically, and to an extent even mentally...but then there is just so much farther to go.


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