~ Roots .....

 

 

Root (noun)

1. the part of a plant that attaches it to the ground

or

2.  the basic cause, source or origin of something

 

Root (verb)

1.  to establish deeply & firmly

 

For the last two years I've felt uprooted.

No sense of belonging anywhere or to anyone.

With Tom's death came upheaval.

My whole world was uprooted.

My life changed forever.

Tom was my home....my sanctuary....my safety.

So his death has caused me to feel homeless in a sense.

 

Some of you know that I moved back to New Hampshire. 

Back to the city where I was born and raised.

I was hoping to immediately be able to just plant myself here.

It's not happening.

I do not feel established deeply and firmly.

I still feel homeless without Tom.

 

Every day is a struggle (still).

But like this bulb I am pushing my way through the struggles

with the help of family and friends.

 

 

Some days are better than others.

Other days are better than some.

But there's not one single day that I don't think about him.

Or talk to him.

Or wish he were here to plant our roots down together.

 

 

I thought long and hard about blogging again.

I think it will help me.

Similar to this growing bulb.......

reaching out and up......

I need to find myself again and grow.

 

So, I'm back.

My camera keeps me focused (no pun intended).

In fact, when I pick up my camera I can almost hear Tom

cheering me on.

 

I'm also finally getting my craft room in order

so I'll be back to crafting

and hopefully be having some giveaways.

Yes, it's been a long, hard and lonely two years.

And I'm sure it will continue to be.

And I will never get over the loss of Tom.

But he would want me to get my feet planted firmly on the ground,

reach out and grow.

 

And I don't want to disappoint him.

 

Tom, I love you.