Monday, February 20, 2017

~ Love ....

.... conquers all.
Today is our 46th wedding anniversary.
Yes, I said "is".
I still consider myself married to Tom and I always will.
And I'm fine with that.
In fact, I'm happy with that.
Yes, 46 years ago we said "I Do" to each other.
There we stood......he just turned 20 a few weeks earlier
and I just turned 19 seven weeks earlier.
All grown up and in love.
Ready for whatever life was going to send our way.
As long as we had each other.
That's all that mattered.

His best friend in college was Best Man.
His sister was Maid Of Honor.
I remember the day vividly.
Our wedding was set for 1:00 p.m.
His family was driving up to New Hampshire from Connecticut.
And.....we were having a snowstorm.
Not a minor snowfall.
A big snowstorm.
I was worried that his family wouldn't make it.
Tom said we were getting married regardless.
Thankfully, they made it.

No elaborate white wedding gown for this hippie girl.
I found a brown & gold dress.
No long wedding veil for this flower child.
I wore a crown of daisies on my head.
I don't think I told Tom the color of my dress.....just that it wasn't white.
So, I was truly surprised when I saw him in the church
wearing a brown sports coat with a gold shirt!!!
Or a deep connection?
Makes me smile.
As most brides do, I saved the cake topper.
Even though it was packed away carefully....
wrapped many times in plastic....
it aged and yellowed.
LOL....I'm surprised I didn't insist on a more casual cake topper.
But we stayed with tradition on this.
Happy Anniversary, Tom.
I woke up this morning and whispered it to you.
Did you hear me?
I can feel your love.
I will always feel your love.
My wedding vows to you were:
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep.
The more I give to you,
The more I have.
For both are infinite."
~Juliet to Romeo
Yes, love conquers all.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

~ Love Letters . . .

. . . and memories.
Tom and I were not very big on celebrating Valentine's Day.
We always felt that we showed and shared plenty of love throughout the year.
No dinners to fancy restaurants.
No elaborate gifts to each other.
Just love.
Plain and simple.

Throughout the year we wrote love letters to each other.
Yes, we did!
Pretty much every single day.
Sometimes the love letters were a page long.
Sometimes they were on sticky notes.
When I was working, I was up and out of the house before he was.
I'd leave a love letter in his coffee cup.
When I'd get home from work before him,
there would be a love letter waiting for me.
When he would go on business trips I would pack love letters with his clothes.
He would find them in his shirt pockets.
In his suit jacket pockets.
In his rolled up socks.
In his trouser pockets.
And I'd find one under my pillow from him.
When I stopped working and he worked from home,
the love letters didn't stop.
We'd each find sticky notes with "I Love You" written on them.
Sticky notes everywhere.
I miss the love letters.
I wish I had kept them.
But I have the memories.
The memories of a love that will never die.

One day, about 2 weeks after Tom died,
I was looking for some paperwork that I would need
to bring to Probate Court.
I couldn't find the paperwork.
In my frustration and my grief I just sat on the floor
and cried my eyes out.
An envelope full of old receipts fell from one of the shelves.
Stuck to it was one of Tom's love letters to me.
Gosh, this was written at least 8 years ago when I was still working.
From the sounds of the letter, it was a tough weekend.
He had probably been taken to the hospital from experiencing
heart failure.

The letter goes:
"Good morning,
It sure was a long weekend. 
I prefer they were a little easier.
I'm sure glad that I have you!!
You make me want to go on so we can have a long life in retirement together.
I appreciate all of your support and most important your love.
I want you to realize that I really do love you
and I have loved you all my life.
You are all of my being.
I don't know what I would do without you.
I really believe my health will be fine
and all the bad stuff is behind us.
I will really try to get better.
Know I love you.
Hope your day goes by fast.
I will be looking forward to you coming home.
I love you 3 whole bunches.
OMG, I love that man.
I'm still in love with him.

Thank you Tom for loving me
and giving me so many wonderful memories.
You truly are my "once in a lifetime"
and my "happily ever after."
Happy Valentine's Day!