Saturday, July 12, 2014

~Today ....

... at 5:20 PM
I lost my best friend.
My partner in crime.
The love of my life.
My heart.
My soul.
My existence.
I will never gaze into this sweet man's eyes again.
I will never see his contagious smile.
I will never hear his deep wonderful voice.
I will never hear him call me "Chick-a-dee" or "Jack" again.
His health had been declining so quickly the last couple of months.
We were hoping for a second boost of energy,
enough to get him to New Hampshire and in the condo.
He fought a hard fight all the way to the end.
I finally told him it was okay to "let go". 
And he did so in my arms as I stroked his face and his hair.
It's interesting because a few weeks before this
I had a specific song in my head every single night before we'd fall asleep.
I'd sing it to him in my head as I listened to him breathe
and fall asleep.
"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing.
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever.
I don't wanna close my eyes.
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
and I don't want to miss a thing
I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
right here
with you
just like this.

Tom, I don't know how I will manage through the rest of my life without you.
You will always be in my heart and on my mind.
Please visit me in my dreams.
I want to see your face every night.


  1. Prayers. He was in your arms and you both said goodbye. You honoured his wishes.

  2. I am so sorry to hear this. May he rest in peace. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


  3. My thoughts, prayers and well wishes go out to you. His love for you remains in your heart and soul...:)JP

  4. Oh I am so sorry this is a beautiful written post and I am crying. I am so glad you were together. Take care HUGS B

  5. One cannot but have tears reading this eloquent post about losing your mate:(
    I really am so sorry for you.
    You were both so fortunate to have each other.
    I read something a couple of weeks ago about loss of a loved one..and I try and think of this for comfort..that they are not really gone..they are just in another room.
    I hope you feel his gentle presence always.

  6. Today I say a prayer for you that you will be comforted and at peace as you deal with this loss. Your love for your husband was so evident in this post. Truly a beautiful and wonderful relationship. So many things could be said but at this time they most likely would just be "words." Just know that God is there for you and will help you through anything. Know that you have friends who care & are also there to lend an ear when you feel the need to talk or just to be there for you even if you don't feel like talking.

  7. I am so sorry about Tom. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Cheryl

    1. Tears, no words. Because no words can express what I want to say to you. Sadness too, and a sweet hug as you long as you need it. Take care sweet IG friend, wish I could mean more for you now. xo

  8. Oh so sorry for your loss. I am glad you were with him as he took his last breath. You are in my thoughts and most certainly in my prayers. I am sorry you are going through such painful and profound loss. My heart goes out to you. Hugs and lots and lots of prayers.

  9. D, I'm moved to tears and I've always loved that song and it certainly has new meaning for me now. My heart aches for you in ways I can't explain. I hope the memories of you and Tom will comfort you in the days, months and years to come. You know I'm a phone call away. Hugs through the Universe sis. xoxo

  10. Want you to know I am still thinking of you, and have you in my prayers.

  11. Diane, I am so very, very sorry.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. i am sorry i am late to reading this ... love ya. big big hugs. i'm so sorry for your loss. thinking & prayers. if there is anything i can do. please ask.

  13. Oh Diane,
    It's never easy to lose a loved one, and it's so nice to see you out and about getting around to other postings. I know that when I went through a loss I was blogging that in some way saved me. It was a place of comfort knowing like bloggers understood and support your loss and pick you up in prayers.
    Visit often, I so feel your pain and sadness and I have a great shoulder to lean on.

    Blessings your way.

  14. I'm so sorry. I can feel your love for him through your words.

  15. I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. Praying for strength for you during this very difficult time.

  16. I'm so sorry to hear this, how very sad for you. That song is beautiful x

  17. This is just horrible - I am so, so sorry. You are so strong and wonderful and selfless, letting your husband know it was okay to move away from the pain and do so with both your love and your blessings.

  18. The one thing, it is such a blessing that you and he had a good life together from the sounds of it, and that you appreciated him and loved him totally while he was living...the pain will eventually ease and you will remember and laugh some things, smile at others, and remember all the good times.

  19. Oh Diane...I am so sorry to read this...I am a bit behind on my blog reading. My heart breaks for you. May God hold you in the palm of His hand.


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